The Office: Top 25 Episodes

The Office is my favorite TV show of all time, so naturally this countdown was inevitable. I have been meaning to do this for years, but just never got on top of it. (That’s what she said)

***Keep in mind this is my personal list.  It might be different than yours and that is okay.***

25. Season 3 Episode 9: The Convict

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“The worst thing about prison was the… was the Dementors. They… were flying all over the place, and they were scary.”

Michael’s “Prison Mike” segment is one of the most iconic moments of the show.

24. Season 2 Episode 2: Sexual Harassment

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Pam: Um… I just wanted to say that… Just, my Mom’s coming in today.
Kevin: MILF!
Pam: Thanks, Kevin.

This episode has the first appearance of Todd Packer-the living embodiment of sexual harassment

23. Season 2 Episode 11: The Booze Cruise

theoffice_02_011_act2.jpgMichael: Well, if you like her so much, don’t give up.
Jim: She’s engaged.
Michael: Engaged ain’t married.
Jim: Huh.
Michael: Never, ever, ever give up.

I can’t watch this one without cracking up about Dwight thinking he’s actually steering the boat.

22. Season 1 Episode 2: Diversity Day

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Pam: OK. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.
Dwight: Oh, man, am I a woman?!

21. Season 3 Episode 23: The Job

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Pam: But you know what? It’s OK. I’m totally fine. Everything is gonna be totally— [Jim walks in]
Jim: Pam. [to camera] Sorry. [to Pam] Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Pam: Yes.
Jim: All right. Then… it’s a date.
Pam: [to camera, tearing up, smiling] I’m sorry, what was the question?

This episode has some classic moments, including Jim and Pam finally getting together.

20. Season 7 Episode 18: Garage Sale

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Michael: Holly Flax, marrying me will you be?

This is on my list mostly because of the Michael and Holly moment at the end.  I love it.

19. Season 3 Episode 19: Safety Training

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Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut.

Fun Fact: I once wrote a two page essay on this episode for a school assignment.

18. Season 3 Episode 22: Beach Games

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Michael: We are going to choose team names. Dwight?
Dwight: We will be called Gryffindor.
Jim: Really? Not Slytherin?
Dwight: Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim.

This is a classic episode with a lot of hilarious and heartfelt moments.

17. Season 3 Episode 7: Branch Closing

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Dwight: [as David Wallace] Dum, dum, dum, dum… coming home from work.
Michael: Excuse me, Mr. Wallace? David Wallace?
Dwight: Yes? What is the meaning of this?

This episode contains one of my favorite Michael and Dwight moments as they wait for David Wallace outside his house.

16. Season 3 Episode 21: Women’s Appreciation

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Dwight: Pam. You can draw, kind of. Why don’t you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community?
Pam: Phallus?
Dwight: Phyllis, sorry. I’ve got penises on the brain. Back to work, everybody.

This is quite possibly Dwight’s best episode.

15. Season 2 Episode 22: Casino Night

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Jim: I was just… I’m in love with you.
Pam: What?
Jim: I’m really sorry if that’s weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that. I just..

This is high on my list because of that iconic Jim and Pam scene.

14. Season 1 Episode 5: Basketball

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Michael: [misses a half court shot] Aw, come on! What is wrong with me today!? Usually hit those.

It’s just sad that Michael Scott missed his true calling: Professional Basketball

13. Season 7 Episode 21: Goodbye Michael

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Pam: (watching Michael’s plane take off) No he wasn’t sad. He was full of hope. About Colorado, and he was hoping to get an upgrade as an award’s member. And he said he was just real excited to get home and see Holly.

Whenever I get to this episode, I will usually skip it because I know it will make me sad for at least a few hours.

12. Season 4 Episode 3: Launch Party

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Dwight: What are you doing? I am in the fight of my life against this computer and every sale counts.
Kelly: But you get to put the paper in this little shopping cart and then it says, “Thanks for shopping at Dunder-Mifflin.”
Dwight: Damnit Kelly! It knows! It knows what you did! 

Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe > Pizza By Alfredo

11. Season 5 Episode 13: Stress Relief

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Michael: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm. 
Dwight: What’s the procedure, everyone? What’s the procedure?
Michael: Stay [bleep] calm!

This should probably be in the top 10, but I’ve second guessed myself so many times that I’m just going to leave it where it is.

10. Season 2 Episode 12: The Injury

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Michael: Let me ask you something, how long does it take for you to do something simple, every day, like brush your teeth in the morning?
Billy Merchant: I don’t know, like 30 seconds?
Michael: Oh my God, that’s three times as long as it takes me.

If this was the only episode of the show that you ever watched, you’d probably hate Michael.

9. Season 9 Episode 23: Finale

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Jim: I just…really wish there was something I could do. [looks off] 
Dwight: [turns around] [whispering] Michael. I can’t believe you came. 
Michael: That’s what she said.

Perfect end to a perfect show

8. Season 5 Episode 8: Frame Toby

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Phyllis: Where’s your place?
Jim: Oh, it’s on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Phyllis: Ohhh…
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.

Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the world.

7. Season 2 Episode 20: Drug Testing

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Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don’t remember. 
Dwight: I would remember. 
Jim: Well, how could you, if it just erased your memory? 
Dwight: That’s not how it works. 
Jim: Now how do you know how it works? 
Dwight: Knock it off, okay, I’m interviewing you. 
Jim: No! You said that I’d be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now exactly how much pot did you smoke? 

Smoking drugs isn’t cool, but this episode is

6. Season 4 Episode 6: Branch Wars

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Karen: Let me ask you, did you accomplish what you wanted?
Dwight:
 Listen lady, you can expect these kind of repercussions as long as you keep trying to poach our people.

Karen: I’m taking Stanley.
Dwight: Then we will burn Utica to the ground.

If you haven’t seen the bloopers from this episode before do yourself a favor and look them up.

5. Season 7 Episode 3: Andy’s Play

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Usher: Excuse me, are you the guy who did an entire Law & Order episode for his audition?
Michael: Nope.

I don’t know if everyone else loves this episode as much as I do… but whatever.

4. Season 6 Episode 4: Niagara

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Michael: What are you wearing?
Dwight: What? It’s a casual, social outfit.
Michael: Looks like you’re going to a fish fry, Dwight.
Dwight: No. They’re howling at the moon. It’s suggestive to women because of the howling during sex.

Easily the happiest episode in the entire series for me.

3. Season 4 Episode 1: Fun Run

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Andy: I’ve walked 2 marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance. [running right behind Kevin]

RIP Sprinkles

2. Season 4 Episode 14: Goodbye Toby

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Toby: [Michael hands him a present] Wow, thanks, Michael, I…
Michael: Can I just say that, of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.

This episode is great because Toby finally leaves.

1. Season 4 Episode 9: Dinner Party

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Michael: OH GOOD. I’LL BE YOUR FIRST CUSTOMER!
Jan: AND YOU’RE HARDLY MY FIRST!
Michael: [yells] THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! [Jan picks up Michael’s dundie and throws it into his plasma screen tv] THAT IS A 200 DOLLAR PLASMA SCREEN TV YOU JUST KILLED! Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits, babe! [Jan goes upstairs crying.]

This is the best episode of The Office, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, I would 100% buy Jan’s assistant Hunter’s album.

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