The Snowman

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When an elite crime squad’s lead detective (Michael Fassbender) investigates the disappearance of a victim on the first snow of winter, he fears an elusive serial killer may be active again. With the help of a brilliant recruit (Rebecca Ferguson), the cop must connect decades-old cold cases to the brutal new one if he hopes to outwit this unthinkable evil before the next snowfall.

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As someone who is a major fan of true crime films, I was crazy excited for The Snowman.  It is safe to say that after reading one bad review after another my expectations were quickly put in check, and it pains me to whole heartily agree with everything I’ve read.  The Snowman is a colossal failure and one of the worst movies of the year.  I hope it will “melt” its way out of my memory soon.

snowman-trailer  One of the most frustrating elements of this movie is the disastrous waste of talent.  A cast with Rebecca Ferguson, Micheal Fassbender and J.K. Simmons can’t even come close to saving it.  How can you waste such talent in a story that had a decent amount of promise?  It just doesn’t make sense to me.  The cast is trying their best, but there just isn’t much to work with at all.  No character receives any substantial sort of background or set up, save maybe for Ferguson’s character, who we learn a little bit about through a series of flashbacks with Val Kilmer of all people.  Fassbender’s character’s name is “Harry Hole” (No, that’s not a joke.)  He randomly wakes up on park benches drunk and apparently he’s a detective legend, but we only know that from Ferguson’s character subtly mentioning it.  Why is he always drunk and miserable?  Who knows, we never find out.  I’m still unsure of why J.K. Simmons is in this movie, I really have no clue.  He pops up in some scenes but untimely his involvement is never explained.  He also takes random pictures of women with his phone, if anyone could explain this to me that’d be great.

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I actually find myself genuinely upset that this movie is as bad as it is.  The director has actually said that they didn’t shoot 10-15% of the script, which might explain why absolutely nothing in this movie makes any sense.  There is someone in a white suit cleaning Harry’s apartment, who we see twice in the film, and the second time it’s clearly not the actual guy.  So someone was in his apartment for some reason, and this is never explained not even in the slightest.  There is also this subplot about the winter Olympics or something that make zero sense.  You just have to watch it for yourself, I really can’t explain it.  Even with all of this considered, the editing is probably the worst part of this film.  It’s almost fascinating how atrocious it is.  There is a scene towards the end of the film that is edited and shot so poorly that I actually took a double take and asked my friend “What the hell just happened?”

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What essentially keeps this movie watchable is the cinematography.  This movie is a mess but it’s a beautiful one I guess.  The Snowman was a massive disappointment for me and colossal waste of talent.

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3 thoughts on “The Snowman

  1. You know that Harry Hole is pronounced totally different from what Anglophone people think it sounds. It’s like Hooleh or so. My Norse is kinda not exsistent but i know it has nothing to do with a hole but simply means Hill. Many Norwegians having that name. Why the director didn’t force Fassbender to pronounce it correctly is one of the many many points of critique we can apply to this shitfest. It was like nobody even gave a singular flying fuck about the result. And starting the post-production process with at least 25% of the screenplay not even filmed … one could think there was some sort of sabotage going on. Because no film crew would be sooo amateurish, now would they? Or was the continuity girl sick or in love or high on drugs?

    Anyway, I’m a huge fan of the Harry Hole novels by Jo Nesbø as they are all pretty cool hardboiled detective stories. And if the studio hadn’t borked The Snowman so badly we could’ve had a nice Harry Hole franchise by now. Nesbø wrote like 8 or 9 Hole novels, and all of ’em would’ve made pretty nice films.

    Liked by 1 person

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